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Also getting emotional just thinking about it. This ring is inspired by one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever gotten to know and one of the most influential people in my life. The older I get the more I realize just how much of a profound impact Lizzie had on me. I feel like I carry the hopes and dreams of every single one of my deceased brothers and sisters. And Lately, I have been missing Lizzie terribly. Her laugh, smile, how she played the guitar. How in one moment she would let all her hatred for the world and our circumstance spill out of her and then look me in the eyes and still be present and vulnerable and available.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI aspire to live up to the example she set for me as a child. And I know this ring doesn't make it so that suddenly I am all of her best qualities. 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It was bad enough that she faced curse, and scorn for her alleged \"crimes.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEventually, the feelings deep inside her could no longer be contained. The world had forced her to become something she did not wish to be, but worse, it also locked her\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is only so much you can push something down. Only too far you can back someone into a corner before something inside them gives way. And it is exactly this that happened. None know what the last trigger happened to be. But when Medusa truly opened her eyes for the first time since her transformation, her ring shifted. The smooth round tear that had symbolized her cruel fate grew edges. And now it reflected light like a great star in the cosmos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe original myth has Perseus as the one to slay Medusa. And this is true, but it was the Gods who set Perseus on this path. For Athena herself realized she had made a terrible mistake. She thought the cursing of Medusa to be a punishment that would force Medusa into terrible suffering. And this happened. But she failed to realize the inner strength of the one that she cursed. The Resilience. The capability. She had erred in the application of her wisdom. For one who is resilient can not be knocked down forever. It may take some time. Months, years, decades even. But when one rises, as when Medusa truly awakened, there was little that could be done to stop her.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFrom Nick: The awakening symbolized in the transformation of the stone (from round to a diamond) reflects what happens within oneself when they decide to let themselves be seen. This is something I struggle with tremendously. There are so many actions I have taken in my life that fill me with sorrow. I often times show people only what I am willing to let them see. The courage that Medusa exhibits in this tale in one I strive to embody every day. 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This time they're stronger and more resilient. They're held in place by collapsing the edge of the hole around the gemstone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e*Alexandrites change color in response to the type of light they are exposed to. The ones set in these rings shift from purple to turquoise.*\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur beliefs are fascinating things. Where do they come from? How do they persist? Why are they here? And what are they really?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have yet to find a satisfying answer to these questions. Currently I \u003cem\u003ebelieve\u003c\/em\u003e them to a natural consequence of the complex workings of a human in the context we all find ourselves in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI also \u003cem\u003ebelieve\u003c\/em\u003e the word \"belief\" is a function of language. And that what we call a belief may be a part of something else entirely. But what that is I do not know. Only that I am curious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow is it that some of us form beliefs (green veggies are good for us) but our beliefs never inspire our own actions (eating a donut and an energy drink for lunch instead of a well rounded meal)? This example isn't exactly harmless, with consequences that worsen the more we engage with the nutritionally detrimental behavior.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn a more extreme sense, we have examples of people of certain skin color being \u003cem\u003ebelieved \u003c\/em\u003eto be inferior. Adults and children being trafficked due to \u003cem\u003ebeliefs\u003c\/em\u003e of some kind, be it \"financial-gain-supremacy\", or the inferiority of the individual being trafficked. And like myself, having my own trafficking twisted around so that I eventually\u003cem\u003e believed\u003c\/em\u003e I deserved it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith all of this layed out, I \u003cem\u003ebelieve\u003c\/em\u003e beliefs cannot form without experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost people seem to to think that there are deeper, core beliefs. And that these are somehow more stable and resist external influences that attempt to alter them in some way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut my thoughts on this run contrary to that assumption. I do think we become who we are in any one moment as a result of experience and our own action that has been stacked on top of itself from an indeterminate point in our past.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause of this I find myself staring down the barrel of a loaded shotgun, where the bullets are Impermanence and temporality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI think our beliefs are actively built with each passing moment. They aren't fixed, but stuck in a constant state of change, no matter how small that change may appear (think of a wrestler apparently stuck in a position, where very little movement appears to happen, only for them to suddenly break out. In this example there is a lot going on throughout the duration of the snap shot, and we tend to ignore the little movements that led to the big change).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThrough this lense, I look at my life a bit differently. There have been many times where I felt stuck. Be it a heightened focus or remembering a past event (flashbacks), seemingly inescapable beliefs of feeling wrong and worthless, believing a persistent narrative I was tortured into believing (making things up and that no one would believe me), and that I was unworthy of love and would only experience abandonment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever a belief is, it is very clearly able to change. And I currently believe it always is. It's shifting, expanding, and retracting. It's almost like our beliefs are forever wandering, inspecting, and probing. Like they are trying to figure out whether the totality of us will benefit from shifting slightly across a moment to moment timescale. While these slight shifts might escape our awareness moment to moment, one day we experience something, and then \u003cem\u003eit \u003c\/em\u003eclicks. The eureka moment hits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSuddenly I don't believe myself only worthy of abandonment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe remembered events don't trouble me as much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd trusting myself is a little easier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr in another sense:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy beliefs weren't fixed. They were \u003cem\u003eim-permanent. \u003c\/em\u003eTime bound. Destined to arise and change into something new.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's the title of this piece. \u003cem\u003eImpermanence. 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This time they're stronger and more resilient. They're held in place by collapsing the edge of the hole around the gemstone. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have always found the steampunk aesthetic fascinating. The same for cyberpunk, too. I thought gothpunk would be styled after the gothic era, but much to my dismay, that was not the case. Each unto their own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I think about steampunk, I think of innovation, progress, and a march toward creatively solving problems in fascinating ways.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd as I gain experience in my brief time here, I am left with a sour taste in my mouth. I encounter so many people living out a script that others handed to them. Yes, there may be some room for ad libs and modifications to the blocking on stage, but they are forced to embody a character and role they were typecast into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI see it with how most of us teach others (and ourselves).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI see it in the judgements we place upon our fellow humans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI see it in the things we prioritize. Money, sex, beauty standards, status symbols.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI'm led to believe most of us can't have an honest journaling session with ourselves these days. Not because we lack the will or capacity— but because we are stuck in a box, and are unable to see the walls that constrain us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe quintessential example is being a child. Most of us have the example of at some point in time feeling free to explore the world how we wanted to. Eating sand, putting things in our mouth, the floor is lava, etc.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe didn't need to know what our brain was. We didn't need to be told everything or look to some authority figure to learn how to bang on pots and pans. What we really needed to know was in front of us. And we learned to arrive at the answers to our own problems through exploration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost of us are incredibly good at it. We learn to walk, run, grab, throw and catch things with an incredible amount of versatility. We were allowed to ask as many questions as we wanted and looked stupid as we explored everything (hopefully without being made to feel as if we were stupid).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs of right now, this is where I'm at. Another person's judgement of you can only ever be their own attempt to satisfy a goal of theirs. Everything that all of us do is intentional. And so they are intentionally acting to achieve their goal. 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